Journey to Aubrey Mei: Luckiest Mommy in the World!

I can't believe I am Mommy to the most precious, sweet, beautiful little girl. How did I get so lucky? So very blessed?? I can not even remember what my life was like without my Aubrey Mei. I miss her so much when we are not together. I get so excited at the end of the work day-- I get to go pick up my girl and see her run into my arms, yelling Mommy, Mommy. Brings tears to my eyes -- I am her MOMMY! WOW - I know I said it before, but no one could have ever prepared me for this feeling, the complete and total unconditional, immeasurable, incredible love I feel for this special child, MY DAUGHTER! I pray every day that God gives me the wisdom to make the right choices for Aubrey, that she is not harmed in anyway because of decisions I make for us. I pray everyday that she is safe in school, when I am not there to protect her. I pray everyday that she is safe in my care and feels protected and loved. The worry and guilt (having to leave her in daycare, for one) can be overwhelming at times- for I want of course what is best for my girl--- but I would not trade that for anything. It's because I love this child so much, that the worry is just a part of it. I know God is watching over us, after all he did match us perfectly together. I had to wait over 5 years for Aubrey to be placed in my arms because she was meant to be my daughter, and me her mother --- I believe that so completely, we were meant to be together. I am just so sorry my daughter had to endure some frightening and sad times to get to this point. Just the other day we found her seahorse I brought to China with me - that was the only thing that seemed to comfort her that first night we were together, she was so scared and sad. She had no idea who this strange blond lady was and I am sure was missing her foster Mommy so much. As we started playing the soothing music from the seahorse as I rocked her to sleep, I could not stop crying. What a difference 7 months makes. She is so comforted by me now, she knows and trusts her Mommy. She gives hugs and kisses all the time, without me asking for them. She tells me "I love you", actually she whispers " I love you" in her soft little voice. I love our nighttime ritual - after her bath, we go into her room and I rock her and always read two books to her. She always wants the same books, one from Ronnie and Sandy (On the night you were born) and one from Aunt Sha ( Time to sleep, my love). She is fascinated with the moon and both books have the moon on almost every page. We say goodnight to the moon and then the light goes out and she gets her nightly foot massage with lotion and now must have a belly massage along with it, of course all with her nighttime lullaby music playing. She still sleeps with her Jing Bear and Bridget and now must rock and sleep with her special giraffe blanket ( the one that I gave her the first night we met in China ). She sleeps for about 4 hours in her crib and when she wakes up she wants to lay with her Mommy for the rest of the night. (or maybe her mommy wants to lay with her for the rest of the night). I am still sleeping in the room with her at night, initially I did this so she would feel safe and loved and protected, now I think her mommy needs it more than she does. It is just a comfort to have her next to me and to know she is ok-- just love her so much and want to be close to her. Eventually she will probably kick her mommy out of her room! My sweet girl amazes me every single day. The other day she was hanging out at Aunt Mo's with her cousins and Aunt Mo mentioned maybe we should eat outside, Aubrey walked over to the door and looked back at us- like, come on let's go out! She was not even talking with her, just overheard our conversation. The teachers at her school say she does that all the time. They will be talking about something among themselves and Aubrey will hear and respond to whatever she overheard them talking about-- Incredible!! She knows her colors, tries to sing her ABC's -- has the rhythm down, working on sounding out the letters, but does recognize her A for Aubrey, B for Barney and knows E. Says her name as she points to herself. Points to me and says "Aubrey's mommy". She loves to play music and dance and her mommy loves to dance with her! Aubrey loves her Goppy - we visit her often and Aubrey has a routine at Goppy's. She pulls up her little purple chair to Goppys coffee table and waits for her snack to be served. Looks at all of Goppy's pictures and tries to say the names. She knows the picture of her Uncle Pat and kisses him and says Uncle Pat and tries to say angel. Aubrey loves her Goppy so much, will just run up to her and hugs her and yells "Goppy" whenever we see her. I am so blessed to have been given such a wonderful mother, and now such a wonderful daughter. How happy it makes me to see the special relationship between grandmother and granddaughter. Thank you God for the most precious gift in the world, Aubrey Mei Jing. Your Mommy loves you more than you will ever know!!

First day as mother and daughter...